I must now come to terms with a truth about myself, I am a pathological impulse spender. Ironically so too. I resisted a credit card for the longest possible time knowing that the ‘luxury’ of free money would be too tempting to resist when those shoes winked at me or when that last round becomes three.
Christmas 2012 came and went with relative financial ease. I paid off my credit card, had a slim(ish) January and gave myself a pep talk at the beginning of Feb. ‘Liz’, I said to myself firmly, ‘you must remember to be sensible now. Bills are increasing, rent is increasing, travel is increasing you are starting your pension contributions, it’s time to stop the silly purchases’. I agreed, fantastic plan. Nothing on the credit card until at least March and eating what’s in the fridge/freezer before stopping off at Sainsbury’s for bread…and buying the entire store.
Today is the 20th. I have spent nearly £100 on clothes (including those seductive shoes), and I have just 30 minutes ago bought two tickets to a show in October because I could, and they were there and nobody was going to steal them from me. I got upset with myself about buying the clothes because I ducked into the store at the last minute not only to just browse and kill a little time before heading to a friend’s, but also to end a conversation I wasn’t really interested in continuing with one of my philosophy class mates. It was the perfect ‘I’m going this way, bye!’ I was feeling a bit worn out and unneccessary small talk whilst walking down Oxford Street was not on the menu that day. The tickets were just pure impulsive ‘GIMME’ reflex. Now the mission is to track down a plus one…
How I irritate myself is I only make these kinds of purchases when I’m not ‘supposed’ to. Murphy’s Law dictates though that if I went clothes shopping with a budget and a specific list of items to buy I would find nothing. With the tickets, this is the reason I sign up for all these annoying circular emails from theatres. The positive fairy has waited for something like this to come along. By the time I logged onto their website (5 minutes after receiving the email – yes it’s a quiet afternoon at the office) to buy tickets there was already 10 people in the queue. By tomorrow I would have missed my chance so I’m grateful to have the opportunity to see Jimmy Carr at the end of the year. By the time the show rolls around it would have been paid for and the burden a distant memory. The experience will be worth it, and a few smug moments of watching 8 Out of 10 Cats thinking ‘I’ve seen him live’ will be pretty cool.
I suppose I can congratulate myself for jumping in with both feet. It’s not like I won’t be able to pay rent next month, but there may just be a few no-name brand grocery items in the shopping basket or perhaps some ‘two minute noodle days’, but that in itself is better than drowning one’s sorrows and regretting opportunities missed. Sitting on the sidelines out of fear is not acceptable for me. (Unless it’s shark cage diving – that’s the exception). It’s worth it to be a little bit braver every once in a while. Boundaries serve a purpose but they don’t have to be rigid.
Now that the Jaws music is stuck in my head I will think of wearing my new clothes to the show, and laughing my head off (I hope) in eight months time. I shall celebrate a tiny victory, since cake is great, but cake with icing is awesome!