Journey to Happiness

So a man just about fell on top of me to get passed me on the tube just now. A lady sitting in front of me looked horrified on my behalf and made sure I got her seat as she stood to disembark. All I could do was laugh and comment ‘that’s one way of getting through’.

Honestly I’m feeling distracted on this ride home. I thought I saw one of my exes on a carriage ahead of me as this train pulled into the station. First of all I doubt it is actually him, there are many batman t shirts in this town, and then I imagine ‘one of my exes’ is a phrase implying shenanigans beyond reality…I’ve been here almost six years, that’s enough time to accumulate a few past plus ones…isn’t it?

Anyway, it’s probably my imagination playing tricks since this guy had sprung to mind in class earlier. One of the lecturers quoted Gandhi who said a weak man cannot forgive. This stirred thoughts of my journey through this life so far and how much I’ve learned and how excited I am to open up more and experience all there is out there – and more importantly continue the innate inner journey.

I think now about the vital role forgiveness plays in all this and of the ex who struggled to reconcile the past and the present. I then feel proud of the smile I wear, a smile that is genuine since it’s reflecting the song in my heart (not just my headphones).

Nothing can harm you in the present moment was something my other lecturer said last week. This week she was discussing the Tao and Lao Tzu and simply said ‘happiness – it’s possible’. It brought a brief tear to my eyes as it struck me. I realised I knew this to be true. It’s taken me 31 years, but that moment was worth the wait. I want to stay present for the next.