Moment

/ RedheadRambler
I lay awake again last night making shadow shapes on my ceiling from the light of my phone. Perhaps it was because the neighbours had some late night shindig happening in their shed. Maybe ’cause the elephant herders in the flat above were making a special effort to pace up and down in an angry manner. Maybe it’s the humidity, or that I couldn’t stop thinking that I should already be asleep. What was in the back of my mind was what seemed to be a casual conversation with a colleague that morning. She had recently had a family bereavement and whilst I’d called her about a work related matter I said she’d been in my thoughts. I then heard a very slight crack in her voice followed by a simple statement. She said she just needed something to help her deal with the sadness. I told her to take deep breaths, imagining she was breathing in a white light – and to imagine her sadness in some form and to breathe that out. The conversation was brief and I wished her strength as she hung up. I hoped I hadn’t upset her or sounded too hippy. Returning from lunch in the afternoon I had received an email from her thanking me for my good wishes and advice and she was at that point feeling surrounded by love. It was an immense moment. I was glad for her to be feeling better, but equally amazed that something I just blurted out made sense to her and helped. I need to trust my own gut more. It seems appropriate to leave some lyrics behind as I continue to ponder this. One of the songs on repeat in my head today is a beautiful melody written by the incredible Tom Waits. (so wish I had his lyrical talent) It sums up a lot. Listen to it if you can, it’s called Hold On.
They hung a sign up in our town
“If you live it up, you won’t live it down”
So she left Monte Rio, son
Just like a bullet leaves a gun
With her charcoal eyes and Monroe hips
She went and took that California trip
Oh, the moon was gold, her hair like wind
Said, ‘Don’t look back, just come on, Jim’

Oh, you got to hold on, hold on
You gotta hold on
Take my hand, I’m standing right here
You gotta hold on

Well, he gave her a dimestore watch
And a ring made from a spoon
Everyone’s looking for someone to blame
When you share my bed, you share my name
Well, go ahead and call the cops
You don’t meet nice girls in coffee shops
She said, ‘Baby, I still love you’
Sometimes there’s nothin’ left to do

Oh, but you got to hold on, hold on
Babe, you gotta hold on
And take my hand, I’m standing right here
You gotta hold on

Well, God bless your crooked little heart
St. Louis got the best of me
I miss your broken China voice
How I wish you were still here with me
Oh, you build it up, you wreck it down
Then you burn your mansion to the ground
Oh, there’s nothing left to keep you here
But when you’re falling behind in this big blue world

Oh, you’ve got to hold on, hold on
Babe, you gotta hold on
Take my hand, I’m standing right here
You gotta hold on

Down by the Riverside motel
It’s 10 below and falling
By a 99 cent store
She closed her eyes and started swaying
But it’s so hard to dance that way
When it’s cold and there’s no music
Oh, your old hometown’s so far away
But inside your head there’s a record that’s playing

A song called ‘Hold On’, hold on
Babe, you gotta hold on
Take my hand, I’m standing right there
You gotta hold on

You gotta hold on, hold on
Babe, you gotta hold on
Take my hand, I’m standing right there
You gotta hold on

You gotta hold on